Your Apple store looks like a museum from the outside.
The rent on your one-bedroom is actually reasonable (for New York).
You sneeze on the street, and a fur-draped woman passing by says, “Ew.”
Your sidewalk is lined with trees and tulips.
The Sotheby’s doorman knows your dog’s name.
Your neighbor comes home carrying a Manolo Blahnik bag all nonchalantly like “NBD, babe.”
You can’t find a coffeeshop that sells a latte for less than $5.
But don’t worry because coffee carts line the streets every day but Sunday.
You come across multiple young men washing the sidewalk on your morning walk…
…and your evening walk looks like this.
All of your neighbors seem to be shipping their dogs off to be shown.
You come home on a Saturday night and not one person is throwing up in and/or passing out in your gutter.